The Corn Fest

Bright overhead lights, a hospital room, surgerical instruments all around, the clean hospital smell …. A neat start to a Frankenstein style novel, but but but … it’s just a tinseey weensy surgery to remove the Corn in my toes .
Corn is a viral infection which starts in your feet ( YUCK) .. I agree … how did it happen, now that’s a story to be told.
Western Ghats.. Thickest rainforest stretch in India, Monsoon, torrential rain, horrid, wet and humid weather. We were a group of trekkers who despite odds were making our way through a stretch of thick jungles. And these guys are serious trekkers … and a friend and I had decided to tag along with them , BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG mistake. Wrong place , wrong time and we when we set out from Bangalore thought that, this trek would be fun. Noone told us that we will trek for 35 km in torrential rains with LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACHES for company… Dude we dint know what rough two days we were in for.
We arrive in Sagara at about 7 in the morning … all of us were oooaaahhhhing about mother nature in all her splendor. We stopped in some seedy hotel to change , all the gurus told us to take what we need and leave the rest in the bus . We , first time trekkers dint know what “everything you need” really was. According to us, deo is very important. One of those guys looked at my luggage and rolled his eyes. First sign that I was not cut out of this. ( Ignored it) . At the end of 15 minutes, all luggage packed we were ready to go,(my bag was the heaviest, was wearing Jeans--- yes I know , the worst idiot). I got my second clue that I was not supposed to be here, when an old waiter in the restaurant asked where we were headed. I happily told him, the look he gave me was --- You are a classic Idiot. I should ve packed and headed back. But ………….
And the trek began , we had guides , they belonged to some nature club. They were going to guide us through the ghats. First adventure --- a 90 degree climb DOWN to a ledge to see a waterfall in all its glory. I hate heights of any kind (It’s a trek Braniac – I know) well god bless us all . I did manage to clamber down with help and my shoes became caked with clay, dead plants and god knows what else. They were not in a position to protect my feet or give me any balance. I am surprised that I dint tumble down to my doom. Now the waterfall , beautiful. But I dint even notice it because … yes you guessed it that I was freaking out about the climb back up. Damn .. by now all of us were totally wet(yes, it had’nt stopped raining for a second) , covered in a lot of leaves and mud. We would pass off as a tribal or something.
The fun was just starting folks, LUNCH.. yes yes .. but we had to walk for another 10 km to get to the place of human habitation ( a small hut) . Interesting. By now people had begun to feel small slimy little worms climb all over them to suck their blood ------ LEACHES. They had a preference for B+ blood only. They also had a preference – female. And that would ve to be ME. They just loved my blood. My god… Rain + Shoes gone + wet heavy jeans + Leaches = Miserable me. We reach the hut and we TRY to shake those leaches off.( FAT Chance)… well we tried. By then I was exhausted, dehydrated (yes it was raining , but I could not drink water which slid off my face right), had lost quite a bit of blood. Thanks to those blood sucking monsters. After lunch we press on. We had to walk 15 km to get to the next human habitation. The locals there thought we were totally nuts. Even they would nt venture out in that weather. I had to agree with them.
Dusk was gathering and it stopped raining. We said thanks a little too fast I think. The guide decided that we ll walk though the most dangerous jungles in India at dusk without proper torches and with leaches for company. Hungry, big, ugly ones at that. And as you can guess---- they sucked me dry. Yes yes… we come to human habitation and try to get rid of them . SHIT!!! Huge ones clinging all over me . Even dogs in those areas fear to go out at that time. And we were out trekking. Yes , brilliant I know. Tried to stem the bleeding but no use. Leaches are poisonous--- when they latch on to your body and suck blood, they don’t allow blood to clot. Platelets don’t congeal . So the bites just kept bleeding. We sleep and I pray to god that everything will just be a horrid Dream. Butttttttttttt …. No it was not.
The next day we walked and walked and walked to a fort (who builds these things in places where its inaccessible ? ) And we walk through gushing torrents to get there. My poor shoes--- gone …. We get there. Now how do we get down the mountain?? Ya you guessed it, we walk through a small river which is just beginning its own journey down the mountain. So what happens to me there ?? ---- Am this huge walking pastry to those vile things. So they suck suck and suck. Finally down. Get on to the damn bus … get home.. can’t wait….. But clothes were ruined cant wear the same things again… they were stinking. Now what we do ---- buy cheap clothes. Not a place which dint hurt, not a part which was not bruised. We got back on Monday morning. In one piece surprisingly (still wondering how I survived)
Now where does the Corn fit in all this?? Well after our dear adventure, I notice a small growth in my toe, very painful but small.. I ignore it. Then after 6 months another toe has the same problem. Then I begin to see the growth in a new light. They are infections. (hallelujah) . Now rush to the doctor, who thinks the best way to remove the infection is to cut both the toes open and remove them. They are deep rooted you see. Now you see how I came to be in a surgery L .
God never forgave me for joining that trek. Nature keeps reminding me that she does not really want me around her too much . So remember – Don’t go trekking, don’t go trekking in the middle of monsoon.